Hope still lives in your story.

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From chasing freedom on the back of a horse, to typing away at my computer, writing blogs and books, to capturing art in my camera lens, I know what it means to create, to lean into my intuition, to appreciate and use the varied passions God gifted me from the day I was born. But it was not always this way. There was a time when all of that was beyond the horizon of hope and I was left adrift on dead waters, alone. I felt like a shell of what I once was and was not even able to access my own emotions. Not even deep grief could crack through the hard outer crust that had formed like cooled lava around my heart. But I knew how to walk with a brave face. I knew how to pretend and perform and “not burden” others. I knew very well how to deny what was going on inside of me to “just get it done,” whatever it so happened to be. 

I resigned, for a time, to believing I would never create again. It was too painful to even try. 

But truth be told,  I was afraid of my own emotions. I was afraid that by entertaining the deep, dark, dirty things swirling in my heart and mind, I would be forever consumed. I was trapped between fear and shame, unable to separate my identity from my thoughts. 

But then God put a number of creative, spirited, Godly, weirdos across my path and through their unconditional compassion and belief, the hardness around my heart was not so much chipped away, but melted down and reshaped into something beautiful, something I could understand, something that . . . offered new growth. It was through them, and the wise teaching of many talented coaches and counselors, that I was able to not only be free of my pain, but to love the version of me that went through it, and that came after.

It is true that one of the most difficult parts of life is being cognizant of what might have been. But one of the most hopeful and healing, is to realize that your worth is not defined by what is or is not. You are free to choose your next action, wiser now, and free of shame. God is faithful to complete the work He began in you. Seek Him. Let Him complete it. You will be surprised at the depth of healing that will come. 

Life is an adventure and there never was an adventure without hardship. So what have you lost, and what have you won? What do you aspire to? If there is any pain, any doubt, any chaos, any brokenness, then take heart, you have a damn good story to tell.

Let’s heal together. 

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"When you find contentment in your present experience, you are set free to more powerfully impact the future."